Death – Friend and/or Foe

My father died from the complications of pneumonia in August 1996. At just about that time, Irish singer/songwriter, Phil Coulter, wrote a song after his father died, titled “The Old Man.” (1) That song captured my feelings completely. The final verse says:

I thought he'd live forever
He seemed so big and strong
But the minutes fly
And the years roll by
For a father and a son
And suddenly when it happened
There was so much left unsaid
No second chance
To tell him thanks
For everything he's done

As I write today, death has just taken a dear sister who lived in Chico, CA, and another sister here in Littleton occupies the narrow space between life and death. And then, deaths mount from the massive hurricane, Helene. All of this has led me to reflect on the often-taboo subject of death. Certainly, death cannot be reduced to a few bullet-points, but it’s all I can give in this setting.

  • Death is inevitable.

It seems obvious, but many of us hold this self-evident truth at arm’s length, until our arm grows too weary to keep it at bay. My father did seem so big and strong that I thought he’d live forever, until one day, to my horror, a word I never thought would enter my mind about him entered, not only my mind but also my heart. As he struggled to breathe, I realized that this big and strong man was now “feeble.” Although I had led many funerals, the inevitability of death came crushingly down upon me as a deeply personal reality. I and everyone who reads this, will die.

I would like to imagine that Roxanne and I would die together, arm-in-arm. If not, I wish, for her sake, that I go first. I can make my wish, but I don’t get to vote. Instead, I pray about it and trust in the power and grace of the Father, and His is the only vote that counts.

  • Death is the enemy

As He arrived in Bethany, Lazarus had been dead for four days. During His conversations with Martha and Mary, we have the briefest, yet one of the truly poignant verses in Scripture— “Jesus Wept.” In addition to weeping, Jesus was “deeply moved in spirit and deeply troubled” (John 11:33). Those terms carry a sense of anger, not mere sorrow. Of course, Jesus was not angry at Martha or Mary, nor with Himself for delaying His arrival. The creator of the universe, incarnate (made flesh), was angry at death and the pain it brings. Death is the enemy! It’s not God’s will, but sin’s consequence. It will only be defeated when the Messiah returns. Only when death is swallowed up in victory, can we fully say, “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:54-55)

  • Death is the gateway

Sunday morning, we sang Bill and Gloria Gaither’s classic song of praise, “Because He Lives.” In its last verse, they speak of death as crossing the river (Jordan) and life’s final war with pain. There’s the paradox: the enemy brings us to our True Hero. When Paul was in prison, waiting for Nero, who was an evil madman, to hear his case issuing death or life, he said:

…22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. (Philippians 1:22-24 NIV)

I’m with Paul. I’m torn! Given this, it’s just as well I don’t get a vote! I will do all I should to delay the enemy’s arrival at my door. But when it comes, its victory will be temporary, and its defeat will be eternal. And all in Christ, by the grace of the Messiah, will have our temporary defeat turned into everlasting victory.

Is death our foe? Absolutely yes! Is it our friend? Paradoxically, in Christ, also yes.

Tim Kelley

(1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQnhDBiTjvg